Skip to main content

Sleep Deprivation Situation

This was a stream of conscious short story I wrote.

Hope you like it.


My eyes are getting heavy, my cheeks are getting warm. I can feel the cruel mistress of sleep pulling me closer and closer into an embrace with her. I’m slipping to one side, going slack, losing cognitive capabilities, drifting.

I didn’t think my eyes could get any heavier…





I jerk my head up. I think I dozed off there for a second. Oh. There goes the focus in my eyes and now there are two glasses of water in front of me; the real one and his translucent twin. I want…







What? I don’t even remember finishing my last though. Did I finish my last thought?





I need to get to bed. Sleep deprivation is a very serious situation. Especially if you’re driving. I’m not driving…





I’m going to hit the curb! Oh. I must have dozed off again. Shit. I have to stay awake. What’s so damned hard about that? I just want to remain conscious. Is that so much to ask?









SNORE!

What? What was that? Was that me? Fuck. This is getting embarrassing. I’m trying to watch a movie with my friends and my own body betrays me…







I hate this, Why did I think I was looking at a glass or hitting a curb? Was that in the movie? Fuck it. I can’t stay awake…

…any…

…zzzz….

…zzzz…
…zzzz…
zzz…..zzz

Comments

Shelly said…
I have become a frequenter to your short stories and, consequently, have become a fan. I have written a couple of shorts and would love to hear your thoughts about how I can improve them. I know you are really, really, really , really busy, but would you mind reading my stories?

www.pinetrail.blogspot.com
Shelly said…
Thank you for reading and responding so quickly. I didn't expect that. Shows a bit of character right there. Can't wait to read your next story or article! Thanks again!

Popular posts from this blog

Anatomy of a Scene - City Lights

We're going to break down another scene this week, and it's one of my favorites in cinema history. It comes from the ending of City Lights by Charlie Chaplin, which I think is the greatest romantic comedy ever made. 
It's a touching film from 1931 and I would make it mandatory viewing for anyone who wants to learn to tell a story.
The scene we're going to be breaking down comes from the very end of the film, so if you haven't seen it, I don't want to spoil it for you. Go watch the film. You can rent it for $3.99 in HD on Amazon or for free on Hulu with a free trial or plus subscription. You should just buy the Blu-ray, though. You're going to want to revisit it.
For those of you familiar with the movie, or for those of you who are going to ignore my pleas to watch it and go ahead with this post anyway, I'm going to set this clip up a bit before you watch it.
City Lights tells the story of Chaplin's Tramp and how he falls in love with a blind flower …

Anatomy of a Scene: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid might be one of the most meticulously well-written movies ever made.  William Goldman scripts are almost always something special. He's a master of creating something that's interesting, every scene has a kinetic energy to it that keeps you moving. He's a talented prose novelist as well. His novel of The Princess Bride might be even better than the screenplay and the film.

But today I want to talk about a scene in particular for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid:



This scene comes early in the movie and we're still working to understand the relationship between Butch and Sundance, as well as Butch and his gang.

Goldman does something amazing as he's able to mix humor, character building, excitement, suspense, and an advancement of the story into the scene. There are so many building blocks at play here, and because the scene is so entertaining we hardly notice.

And the dialogue is so sharp I can't even stand it.

One of the mos…

Anatomy of a Scene: The Third Man

It's time again to break down a classic scene. One that's well-written and, in my view, a fine example of excellent craft.

I've done some of these articles from books (like The End of the Affairand Starship Troopers) and other movies (like Citizen Kane, City Lights, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), but now it's time to take a look at a scene from The Third Man. It blends the best of Orson Welles (as he's in the film and drives this scene) and Graham Greene, who wrote this particular screenplay.

Before we get to the scene, we need some context.

The Third Man is a tale of the black market in Vienna, just after World War II. It's about a cheap, dime-store Western novelist named Holly Martins (played by Joseph Cotton) and his friend Harry Lime (Orson Welles.) Lime offered Martins a job in Vienna, so Martins leaves America and arrives, only to find that Harry Lime is dead. Penniless, without a friend or reason to be in the country, h…