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Pirate Club Vs. The Birdwatcher Club

So, Derek asked me for a four page Pirate Club short on really short notice to try to have ready soon.

Truth be told, four pages is a really tough nut to crack.

This is what I came up with....

PAGE 1:
Panel 1:
John, standing like a captain, arms folded behind his back, is in front of an old-school wheeled cannon, aimed up at a tree.

Bear and Bat are to the other side of the cannon, faces frothing with blood lust.

Mike is behind the cannon, holding the rope to pull to set it off.

JOHN: Members of the Bird Watchers club! The Pirate Club is prepared to board but we’re willing to grant you a most generous offer!
(beat)
Surrender to us and we’ll only steal your booty, but you’ll leave with your lives!
(beat)
Or, we can do this the hard way!

Panel 2:

The bird watchers tree house. Telescopes sprout from every window...

A small head is peeking from the bottom of a window.

BIRD WATCHER: (in a small, timid font) Never!

Panel 3:

Close on John, with Mike in the background.

JOHN: Fire the warning shot.

Panel 4:

Mike yanks the cord at the back of the cannon as hard as he can, a cannonball is making it’s way up in an awesome explosion.

PAGE 2:

Panel 1:

The same as page 1, panel 2, but the cannon ball has ripped a groove out of the roof, which is now on fire.

Panel 2:

Inside the birdwatcher tree house, the head birdwatcher is arguing with his men (who all have binoculars around their necks.)

BIRD WATCHER: We have to surrender... If we don’t, they’ll kill us...

BIRD WATCHER #2: Or worse!

Panel 3:

BIRD WATCHER #3: I say we stand our ground! We’re men, right?! We can fight back!

BIRD WATCHER: Obviously, you’ve never dealt with the Pirate Club before...

Panel 4:

BIRD WATCHER #3: I bet they’re not so tough.

BIRD WATCHER #2: You won’t be saying that when Bearclaw is smashing your kidney into oblivion with the strength of a bear!

BIRD WATCHER: Or if Bat attacks your balls... I hear she kicked a guy’s balls through his stomach and he died!

Panel 5:

You can see the horror on birdwatcher #3’s face.

BIRD WATCHER #3: Maybe we SHOULD surrender...

Page 3:

Panel 1:

Same as page 2 panel 1, except the birdwatcher club leader is waving a whit flag out the window.

Panel 2:

Close on John...

JOHN: You see! Terror IS a Pirates friend.

Panel 3:

The six kids in the bird watcher club (all with binoculars around their necks, still) are lined up in a row with their hands up.

John is pacing in front of them, hands behind his back.

JOHN (CONT’D): You’ve made a wise choice.
(beat)
Mike! Loot their club house. Take all the booty you can find.

Panel 4:

Mike.

MIKE: Aye aye, Cap’n.

Panel 5:

John again with the birdwatchers in the background all looking horrified.

JOHN: Bearclaw, Beatrice. Go to work.

Page 4:

Panel 1:

Bat and Bear are savagely attacking the birdwatchers.

BEAR: ROAR!

BAT: Eat this!

Panel 2:

The leader of the birdwatchers, his face bruised, battered, broken and bloodied, is laying on the ground in front of John.

Bear is in the background mauling a birdwatcher, Bat is near him kicking another in the balls.

BIRD WATCHER: I thought...*cough*...if we surrendered, you would let us live...

Panel 3:

John laughing.

JOHN: Hahahaha!
(beat)
As soon as the Pirate Club chose the Birdwatcher club as its target, your fate was sealed. You birdwatchers spend so much time looking at the world from afar, you didn’t realize what was right in front of you!

Panel 4:

The leader of the birdwatchers again

BIRD WATCHER: But, you promised...

Panel 5:

John again

JOHN: Only cowards surrender and pirates don’t abide cowards.
(beat)
Next time, you should take your beatings like a man.

Panel 6:

John kicks the Bird Watcher in the face.

The End...

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