Skip to main content

The Executive Attendant

I wrote this short and was planning on shooting it on 16mm.

INT - CORPORATE OFFICE - DAY

A well dressed EXECUTIVE is sitting behind his desk, shuffling through papers.
A knock at the door stands him up to greet whoever may enter:

EXECUTIVE
It’s open...

The door opens to reveal a YOUNG MAN, with a resume in his hand.

YOUNG MAN
Hello sir.

The young man comes towards the desk to shake hands with the executive just sits down ignoring the offered hand.

Taking the hint the young man sits down.

YOUNG MAN
I brought my resume, like your secretary asked...

He hands the resume across the desk to the executive who in one fluid motion takes it from the young man and throws it in the waste basket.

EXECUTIVE
Yes. It looks wonderful.

The young man looks confused.

EXECUTIVE
So. Which job are you applying for?

YOUNG MAN
Well, sir, anything really, but I was told that there was a copy boy position available.

EXECUTIVE
(quickly, sharply)
You were lied to.
(pause)
There’s a machine doing that now. We do have a bathroom attendant position. For the executive bathroom.

YOUNG MAN
Well, sir that doesn’t sound so bad.

EXECUTIVE
Well, some of the executives, myself included, sometimes take a hankering to shitting in the urinals and pissing on the sinks...

YOUNG MAN
Okay.
(pause)
How’s the pay?

EXECUTIVE
You’ll get paid less a year than I make in a week.

YOUNG MAN
You make a lot of money then?

EXECUTIVE
More than you’ll ever see.

YOUNG MAN
Is there any chance of promotion?

EXECUTIVE
No. You’re as high up on the food chain as you’ll ever get.

YOUNG MAN
Sir?

EXECUTIVE
And that’s only until we find someway to eliminate your job or ship it to Mexico.

YOUNG MAN
You’re shipping the bathroom to Mexico?

EXECUTIVE
Not the bathroom the whole damn company. But that’s just to keep that stockholders happy. They’re who count. Not your worthless ass.

YOUNG MAN
Well, sir, If i get the job when would I start?

EXECUTIVE
As soon as we get rid of “Dad,” the old guy.

YOUNG MAN
The old guy?

EXECUTIVE
He’s been here for 42 years, but if he works to his 43rd we have to pay him a retirement bonus, and we can’t have that now can we?

YOUNG MAN
(incredulously)
I suppose not.

EXECUTIVE
So, we’ll send him his pink slip, and then we’ll let your jack ass have the job.

YOUNG MAN
So I got the job?

EXECUTIVE
Well, how little are you willing to be paid?

YOUNG MAN
Minimum wage.

EXECUTIVE
That’s the answer I was looking for.

YOUNG MAN
So I got the job?

EXECUTIVE
Yes. But keep in mind we don’t need you.

YOUNG MAN
Thank you sir. You won’t know how much this will mean to my family.

EXECUTIVE
Nor will I care.

YOUNG MAN
I needed this job so badly.

EXECUTIVE
And this job didn’t need you at all.

They begin to stand, and the Young man goes to shake his hand. The hand is ignored again, and the young man turns to leave the room.

YOUNG MAN
Thank you sir.

EXECUTIVE
Report here on Monday.

YOUNG MAN
Yes sir.

He closes the door and leaves.

The executive gets on his intercom to his secretary, MISS BRANT.

EXECUTIVE
(into intercom)
Ms. Brant?

MISS BRANT
(through intercom)
Yes sir?

EXECUTIVE
(into intercom)
I need you to send a pink slip to “Dad”, the executive bathroom attendant.

MISS BRANT
Your father sir?

EXECUTIVE
Yes. His last day is Friday.

MISS BRANT
Yes sir.

Comments

Shelly said…
Though the Executive's words could be fine-tuned just a little, I really like this storyline, especially the twist at the end.
12:58 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anatomy of a Scene - City Lights

We're going to break down another scene this week, and it's one of my favorites in cinema history. It comes from the ending of City Lights by Charlie Chaplin, which I think is the greatest romantic comedy ever made.  It's a touching film from 1931 and I would make it mandatory viewing for anyone who wants to learn to tell a story. The scene we're going to be breaking down comes from the very end of the film, so if you haven't seen it, I don't want to spoil it for you. Go watch the film. You can rent it for $3.99 in HD on Amazon  or for free on Hulu with a free trial or plus subscription. You should just buy the Blu-ray, though. You're going to want to revisit it. For those of you familiar with the movie, or for those of you who are going to ignore my pleas to watch it and go ahead with this post anyway, I'm going to set this clip up a bit before you watch it. City Lights tells the story of Chaplin's Tramp and how he falls in lov
Post a Comment
Read more

Anatomy of a Scene: The Third Man

It's time again to break down a classic scene. One that's well-written and, in my view, a fine example of excellent craft. I've done some of these articles from books (like The End of the Affair   and Starship Troopers ) and other movies (like Citizen Kane , City Lights , Raiders of the Lost Ark , and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid ), but now it's time to take a look at a scene from The Third Man . It blends the best of Orson Welles (as he's in the film and drives this scene) and Graham Greene, who wrote this particular screenplay. Before we get to the scene, we need some context. The Third Man is a tale of the black market in Vienna, just after World War II. It's about a cheap, dime-store Western novelist named Holly Martins (played by Joseph Cotton) and his friend Harry Lime (Orson Welles.) Lime offered Martins a job in Vienna, so Martins leaves America and arrives, only to find that Harry Lime is dead. Penniless, without a friend or reason to be
Post a Comment
Read more

The Missed Opportunities of Days Gone By

“Hello?” I said into the phone, accepting the call from a number I didn’t recognize. “Hey,” the feminine voice on the other replied, as though I should know the sound of her voice. At a loss, I said, “Can I help you?” “It’s Brooke.” Her name stopped me. It couldn’t possibly be her. We hadn’t spoken in years, a decade perhaps. “Brooke?” “Yeah, Brooke Baker. This is Mark, right?” Jesus Christ. It was her. “Yeah, it is Mark. Brooke. Wow. How are you? It’s been a long time since… well… since anything.” “I know.” “So, how are you doing?” “Okay, I suppose…” Her voice belied her words, though. Something was up. “I… It’s just been so long and I guess I wanted to hear your voice.” “I don’t think I had a number for you. Ever. I offered a couple of times, but…” “I was a brat back then.” And that’s how a random phone call turned into a two-and-a-half hour catch-up session. We spoke of everything under the sun: people we still knew, how different we were, h
14 comments
Read more