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Complicated

I will present this without comment. Let me know what you think.

I used to think it was clichéd in books and stories when I would read about that sinking feeling of love at first sight when you, at long last, catch a glimpse of the person you know you’re meant to spend your life with. But I don’t anymore. After I saw Katie for the first time I felt as though I was going to explode with joy and burst into forlorn tears all at the same time.

It was on campus where I first laid eyes on her, beneath the shadow of “Y” mountain, before the sun crested over, spilling the rays of morning over Utah Valley and the rest of Brigham Young University. I’m not sure where she was going, but I assumed she must have been heading somewhere to study; the library perhaps.

It didn’t matter.

As though I were written into the pages of a dime-store novel, my heart truly skipped a beat. She had long dark hair knotted into two neat pigtails with blue ribbons. She wore a BYU t-shirt and a skirt far too modest for my tastes. For being as thin as she was, her figure was full and she swayed elegantly from side to side as she walked, like a weeping willow in a soft breeze.

The first time I saw her there I was content to watch her walk by, never to be seen again.

If only I were to have been so lucky.

Throughout the day, drinking my coffee, writing in my notebook, at work, at home, laying in bed, in my dreams, I saw her. The young Mormon princess appeared over and over again in the misty-meadowed Brigadoon of my minds eye. Each time the vision of her came to me, a different piece of her came into focus, outlined by the sun, sent down from the heavens for no reason other than to highlight the curve of her back, the slender nape of her neck, the firm outline of her breasts beneath her shirt. It was as though when she winked at me in my dreams, a cold shiver ran from the top of my spine to the tips of my toes resulting in a deep sigh, punctuated by my deep regret for not speaking to her when I had the chance.

At that point, I didn’t even know her name.


To read the rest of this story, you can purchase it here for the Kindle in the collection "The Accidental Date and Other Stories of Longing, Romance and Woe", or click the button below to order a .PDF of the collection.

The collection contains 11 other stories from me, Bryan Young.






Comments

M D Boyle said…
I liked how you saved the reveal that the "I" in the story is another woman. I fell victim to gender bias on that one and just assumed that the "I" was a male. Nice job.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pat at a loss said…
Ok, I didn't relate to this one except empathetically. I loved "blistering innocence" and the paragraph with Brigadoon in it.

I fell for the gender bias trap, too. Had to readjust often to the end. It's good to "build" in your writing.

I think Katie will have to pray about this. Pat

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